Tuesday, January 4, 2011

It seems everywhere I go, I hear.....

You have such good kids! Your children are so well behaved!
I might be at a family gathering, the grocery store, a home school activity, a field trip..... anywhere really. I hear this often, and it got me pondering about it. I thought I'd throw out my two cents on parenting. First off I MUST say that I do not live in a wonderful, blissful, always happy home. We have our trials, our bad days, and well those days when Mama Bear wants to just slip off to bed, and forget the day ever started. The problem with slipping away, is that you are just running from the problem. It will never get better, if it's never fixed. I can solve all your {and my own} problems in one simple word, CONSISTANCY. I don't care if you are a spanker, a time-out parent, a job or chore for discipline you name it and there's probably a discipline book written all about how to do it! I don't honestly feel it matters how you discipline, just that you do, and that you are consistant. I've read a few discipline books, but mostly heard theories from others, and can I just say there is one word that is always used, always part of the parenting tips, consistancy. The other day, at a homeschool activity, some of the Mom's were talking about Motivation. How do you motivate your children to do what they are supose to. Whether that means chores, school work, listening and obeying, how do you motivate? Honestly I can say, I don't motivate, I expect that our duties will be done and done right, or you will not get the reward of privleges. All priveledges are just that privledges. If you allow your children to misbehave in the home, and then allow them the reward/privledge of participating in an activity or outing, then why would they want to do their work? If they can play, have fun, do what they want to... and not work for it, why would they work? Honestly would you work, if you could play first?

This is a very well know scripture in the homeschool world....

Proverbs 22:6 (King James Version)
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This scripture has such a powerful message, you may be training, in wisdom, in productivity, in character, or in religious views.... if you properly, consistantly train your children, they will not depart from it. It is God's promise to us.

To train, is this easy? NO!! Is it worth it? YES!!!

One of the points Papa Bear often reminds me, when I call him whining because one of the A's is giving me greif, is that if I stick to it, be consistant, it will be rewarding. I know when my A's are
being bad, it's because Mama Bear has given in. Mama Bear was too tired to train, Mama Bear didn't want to be bothered.... Mama Bear wasn't being consistant.

Proverbs 13:24 (King James Version)
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

This is another one of my favorite parenting scriptures. It is so true. Can you think of a parent, who doesn't want to be a parent? They want to be a best friend, not Mom or Dad, just a friend. Now don't get me wrong I want to be my children's best friend, someone they can come to whenever they feel they need someone to talk to. However their is a difference in being Mom/best friend and being just a best friend. How often would a Mom tell their children to do something dangerous, harmful or maybe even unlawful? Usually never, but sometimes, sadly they do. When they do, they are not being Mom, they are being a "best friend"

Proverbs 22:15 (King James Version)
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Wow that one hit me, I don't think I've ever noticed this scripture before, not as a disciplinary scripture. We have a foolish, silly, giggly house. Sometimes it's fun, all the time, is too much. Guess I better get on the silliness!

Proverbs 29:15 (King James Version)
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Another one of my favorites. Just think about it, a child who is undisiciplined does bring it's mother to shame. Have you ever been at a park or children's museum, something like that. You notice a child who is... well to say it nicely, out of control. You can tell who the mother is because she will usually ignore the child, until she blows up and screams at them, and then seems to always be apoligizing for her child. She's not proud of this child, but is trying to hid from him.

Well since I didn't plan on writing a novel about this, just a few tips. I should probably stop! I could definitely go on and on about this subject. I do honestly love it! Yes I love discipline, why? If you have children who love you, want to serve you, and quickly do as they are told, it can only mean one thing.... a happy home!

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Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6