Thursday, February 5, 2015

Giving a little rope, when it's earned.........

Recently I was involved in a discussion about Older Youth and how to handle their responsibilities. I didn't realize that there were so many thoughts and ideas on this subject!

So I thought I'd share a few of my thoughts here for those interested.
Give a little rope, when it's earned, that sums up my thoughts, pretty well.

I try to give my more mature youth more time to study and to ponder on their passions, life, relationships... the works! I say more mature, not older, not at a specific age.... but the ones who have showed their ability to use this time wisely. I am not one of those mom's who says;

at this age.... you can do this!

For me, it's maturity.

Some kids have it, bountifully, while some do not!
It's life!
(Some adults have it, some not so much! Yes that can be learning, and environment, but come on there comes a time that they should be learning those lessons!)

So in our house, we have jurisdictions, and chores.
Jurisdictions: An area that each child is assigned and "owns". One Jurisdiction every one has is their bedroom. Then we have the living room, family room, 2 bathrooms and stairs and hallways.
Chores: These are the everyday things that need to be done throughout the day. Dishes, taking out garbage, feeding the dogs, sweeping and mopping, washing tables etc.
The majority of our daily chores are done by my children age 12 and under, and myself.

I believe that children need time to play, and enjoy... however they need to learn responsibility and accountability too.


So what does all this have to do with a rope?

I like to give my youth room to spread their wings

Along with time to enjoy and learn and spend time on projects or interests. I also want them to have the ability to feel more grown up, and be more grown up. I give them more rope to do things, to have benefits, but with all these benefits come rules.
It's not a free for all, it's earned.

How does one earn their rope, their "freedom"?
They must show their responsibility in the home, first. So if all's well at home, if they are doing a great job with their responsibilities, then there's room for play!
They must show they desire that rope, that "freedom".
When told to be home at a certain time, that's exactly what I expect, or a call!
When told no, that's what I mean. I recently attended a home education conference. I hear Nicholeen Peck speak. One of the (MANY) things I came home with from her speech, was that children need to know what no is and what it means!!!!

If a child decides that he/she need not follow the rules, then I pull back on that rope, just enough for them to feel it, and know that was the wrong choice.

For the most part it's worked. We are  all happy and everyone around here gets much deserved and needed fun time!

BTW if you don't know who Nicholeen Peck is, you need to go and read her stuff..... amazing! Here is a link to her blog.  BBC called them the worlds strictest parents, but I think I might have a chance in that race! (If you don't understand that go listen to the video!)

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since August 13, 2009

since August 2009
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Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6